Those of you who visited this blog late last night--and my stat-box says there were about twenty of you--may have seen a partial review of the first section of If There Be Thorns. It was late, I was sleepy, someone at Blogger put the Post button next to the Save button . . . mistakes were made.
Just wanted to post an apology and an explanation of why that post is no longer here. You weren't hallucinating, and there was nothing wrong with your browser. But hey! At least there's proof that If There Be Thorns is a thing that will happen!
Meanwhile, Part Seven of the Petals on the Wind recap is up, and we're one week away from the new Flowers movie!
Showing posts with label technical stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label technical stuff. Show all posts
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Background Blogging: I Sense a Theme
Checking my stats after the long absence reveals a certain trend in my search hits.
"incestuous rape Flowers in the Attic": This blog discusses the rape scene in Flowers in the Attic: Part Six, which is the secondmost viewed entry on this blog by several hundred hits, surpassed only by the entry on the Andrews estate's court case with the IRS.
"flowers in the attic rape": Yes, same section.
"flowers in the attic chris and cathy make love": Cathy and Chris don't make love in that book. They do in later books, but in the first one, it's straight-up rape.
"flowers in the attic nude": There is a lot of casual nudity scattered around Flowers in the Attic, particularly in the section covered in Part Five. There is no nudity in this blog, unless you count that one picture of Burt Reynolds.
"flowers in the attic sex excerpt": The whole scene? It's not very graphic compared to some of the scenes in say, Petals on the Wind, and it's rather short, and it's, well, a rape scene. There's an earlier scene where Chris and Cathy kiss and make out a little that's probably more satisfying on the sensuality front.
"flowers in the attic porn": I'm sure it exists, although a quick search reveals that, if it's out there, it's surprisingly difficult to locate amid the tons of cheeky articles that describe the book as "softcore porn for preteens." Andrews' own sex scenes tend to be soft focus. You'll have to go to the fanfiction for anything more graphic than that.
At any rate, there's no porn in this blog, and there's no porn in Flowers in the Attic, except for maybe scenery porn. Andrews does love to describe her sets.
In a bit of mood whiplash, however, I'd like to talk about some other search results that really bothered me for a number of reasons.
"was vc andrews raped/was vc andrews molested/vc andrews was an incest victim"
Serious talk about incest and some analysis of Andrews' oeuvre under the cut.
"incestuous rape Flowers in the Attic": This blog discusses the rape scene in Flowers in the Attic: Part Six, which is the secondmost viewed entry on this blog by several hundred hits, surpassed only by the entry on the Andrews estate's court case with the IRS.
"flowers in the attic rape": Yes, same section.
"flowers in the attic chris and cathy make love": Cathy and Chris don't make love in that book. They do in later books, but in the first one, it's straight-up rape.
"flowers in the attic nude": There is a lot of casual nudity scattered around Flowers in the Attic, particularly in the section covered in Part Five. There is no nudity in this blog, unless you count that one picture of Burt Reynolds.
"flowers in the attic sex excerpt": The whole scene? It's not very graphic compared to some of the scenes in say, Petals on the Wind, and it's rather short, and it's, well, a rape scene. There's an earlier scene where Chris and Cathy kiss and make out a little that's probably more satisfying on the sensuality front.
"flowers in the attic porn": I'm sure it exists, although a quick search reveals that, if it's out there, it's surprisingly difficult to locate amid the tons of cheeky articles that describe the book as "softcore porn for preteens." Andrews' own sex scenes tend to be soft focus. You'll have to go to the fanfiction for anything more graphic than that.
At any rate, there's no porn in this blog, and there's no porn in Flowers in the Attic, except for maybe scenery porn. Andrews does love to describe her sets.
In a bit of mood whiplash, however, I'd like to talk about some other search results that really bothered me for a number of reasons.
"was vc andrews raped/was vc andrews molested/vc andrews was an incest victim"
Serious talk about incest and some analysis of Andrews' oeuvre under the cut.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The $1,244,910.84 Question
Since this piece deals so heavily in disclaimers, here's one of my own: the following post is not some brilliant piece of investigative journalism, believe me. It's all available in legal records, although those records suffer from being really boring, full of legalese, and in the main irrelevant to our interests here. For a fascinating few hours' reading, however, go to The Estate of Virginia C. Andrews v U.S.
The Official Fiction: In the Faces of Fear* interview a year before her death, Andrews claimed to have notes for sixty-three future stories, although she was a little vague about whether or not these were individual novels or full sagas. While I wouldn't be surprised by either, I'm guessing she meant novels (if only because the idea of anyone having notes for sixty-three five-book series intimidates the bejeezus out of me).
After Andrews's death, her publishers actively perpetuated the idea that Andrews left behind an unspecified number of completed novels, which they planned to publish one by one. A little later, the story evolved that Andrews's estate was working with a carefully selected writer to "complete" Andrews's unfinished novels. Still later, the claim was that the estate was working with that same "carefully selected" author to write stories inspired by Andrews.
The Problem: If there is any grain of truth to the Official Fiction, then by the date of this writing her ghostwriter, Andrew Neiderman, has produced very nearly seventy novels under Andrews's name, meaning that either we are fast approaching the end any potential leftover Andrews-fodder or we are in the "inspired by" stage and have been for quite some time.
The $1,244,910.84 Question: when, exactly, did V.C. Andrews stop writing? Which books are hers, which were written by the ghostwriter, and which are a posthumous collaboration between the two? What became of the mythical sixty-three future novels?
As it turned out, the only person who could answer that question was the IRS.
The Official Fiction: In the Faces of Fear* interview a year before her death, Andrews claimed to have notes for sixty-three future stories, although she was a little vague about whether or not these were individual novels or full sagas. While I wouldn't be surprised by either, I'm guessing she meant novels (if only because the idea of anyone having notes for sixty-three five-book series intimidates the bejeezus out of me).
After Andrews's death, her publishers actively perpetuated the idea that Andrews left behind an unspecified number of completed novels, which they planned to publish one by one. A little later, the story evolved that Andrews's estate was working with a carefully selected writer to "complete" Andrews's unfinished novels. Still later, the claim was that the estate was working with that same "carefully selected" author to write stories inspired by Andrews.
The Problem: If there is any grain of truth to the Official Fiction, then by the date of this writing her ghostwriter, Andrew Neiderman, has produced very nearly seventy novels under Andrews's name, meaning that either we are fast approaching the end any potential leftover Andrews-fodder or we are in the "inspired by" stage and have been for quite some time.
The $1,244,910.84 Question: when, exactly, did V.C. Andrews stop writing? Which books are hers, which were written by the ghostwriter, and which are a posthumous collaboration between the two? What became of the mythical sixty-three future novels?
As it turned out, the only person who could answer that question was the IRS.
Monday, January 9, 2012
More Fun With Keywords!
In the past two weeks, there's been an upsurge in traffic (although, in the spirit of full disclosure, I don't exactly advertise this blog, so an 'upsurge' in my case is something like twenty unique hits) from a search for "hate flowers in the attic." I try to keep abreast of all things Andrews and have not noticed any recent developments that would cause people who did not previously hate Flowers in the Attic to begin doing so in any great numbers. I can only assume that either
A) people who already hated Flowers in the Attic are looking for kindred spirits; or,
B) I am now known in internet circles as "that chick who hates Flowers in the Attic."
I can't stress this enough. I don't hate Flowers in the Attic. Let's just say . . . I enjoy Flowers in the Attic in a way it was not intended to be enjoyed.
That being said, there have been a significant number of hits from searches for "tom selleck porn." Y'all know who y'all are.
A) people who already hated Flowers in the Attic are looking for kindred spirits; or,
B) I am now known in internet circles as "that chick who hates Flowers in the Attic."
I can't stress this enough. I don't hate Flowers in the Attic. Let's just say . . . I enjoy Flowers in the Attic in a way it was not intended to be enjoyed.
That being said, there have been a significant number of hits from searches for "tom selleck porn." Y'all know who y'all are.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Where the F**k did the Trunchbull bury Cory's picnic basket in Flowers in the Attic
I have recently learned the joys of my stat box. This is how I tell how you--yes, you! there! in front of the computer!--found this blog.
Here, then, are the top five burning searches that lead people to the blog-o-rama:
The Trunchbull/pictures of the Trunchbull: The Trunchbull is this blog's common name for the grandmother from Flowers in the Attic. Alas, this blog does not discuss Matilda or any other work by Roald Dahl (even though Matilda is one of my favorite books and Roald Dahl is one of my favorite authors). Cathy later changes her stage name to Dahl, but I'm sure that's unrelated.
what the fuck am I reading? Brother, we've all been asking ourselves that one.
cory buried flowers attic: It is never explicitly stated what became of Cory's body. In Flowers, Corrine claims to have had him buried under a false name. Later, adult!Cathy goes searching through records to find where Cory might have been buried, but finds that there weren't even any records of any male children Cory's age who died on that particular day in the state. When Cathy confronts her mother, Corrine admits that Cory died before reaching the hospital and that she disposed of his body in a ravine.
But then, the mysterious and confusing part kicks in (and it's part of one of Andrews's irritating habits that I'll explicate more fully when the actual scene happens): Cathy claims to have discovered a mysterious room in the attic, a room with a strong odor of decay and death. The implication, obviously, is that Corrine hid her son's body up there and zOMG, Cory never left the attic! The irksome thing is that we never actually see this scene happen, so it's ambiguous as to whether or not Cathy's telling the truth. However, the accusation causes Corrine to have a full-on psychotic break, implying that there's at least a grain of truth to it.
Still a lot of questions there. Did Cory die en route to the hospital, as Corrine claimed, and she hid him in the attic where she knew his body would never be found? Or--and a lot of people seem to think this--did she never even bother with the hospital, simply abandoning her son in a locked, hidden room in the attic, essentially burying him alive?
Short version: we never find out what became of Cory's body, but there is a good 80% chance it was stowed in the attic of Foxworth Hall and ultimately consumed by fire when the house burned down.
case-of-the-keyhole-covers: This search hit particularly pleases me, because it means that someone is deliberately and purposefully Googling for something that I wrote. It's right here if anyone wants it. I hope you're not in marketing; I say some pretty mean things about you guys in that post.
Bart Winslow flowers in the attic: Bart is Corrine's virile strapping moustachio'd sex-bomb attorney of a second husband (represented here by Magnum PI* himself, Burt Reynolds). He will make his first real appearance later in the Petals recaps. I have feelings about Bart. They are not sexy feelings.
Recap of Part Three is 3/4ths done! I'm just having trouble finding some gifs that sufficiently express my trauma over the upcoming sex scene.
ETA, 2/5/2012: I edited the title to this entry, not due to any squeamishness about dropping the f-bomb in the title, but because, ironically, I was getting hits for weird and potentially illegal porn.
*Gehayi pointed out in comments that Tom Selleck played Magnum P.I. Apparently I got my moustaches mixed up.
Here, then, are the top five burning searches that lead people to the blog-o-rama:
The Trunchbull/pictures of the Trunchbull: The Trunchbull is this blog's common name for the grandmother from Flowers in the Attic. Alas, this blog does not discuss Matilda or any other work by Roald Dahl (even though Matilda is one of my favorite books and Roald Dahl is one of my favorite authors). Cathy later changes her stage name to Dahl, but I'm sure that's unrelated.
what the fuck am I reading? Brother, we've all been asking ourselves that one.
cory buried flowers attic: It is never explicitly stated what became of Cory's body. In Flowers, Corrine claims to have had him buried under a false name. Later, adult!Cathy goes searching through records to find where Cory might have been buried, but finds that there weren't even any records of any male children Cory's age who died on that particular day in the state. When Cathy confronts her mother, Corrine admits that Cory died before reaching the hospital and that she disposed of his body in a ravine.
But then, the mysterious and confusing part kicks in (and it's part of one of Andrews's irritating habits that I'll explicate more fully when the actual scene happens): Cathy claims to have discovered a mysterious room in the attic, a room with a strong odor of decay and death. The implication, obviously, is that Corrine hid her son's body up there and zOMG, Cory never left the attic! The irksome thing is that we never actually see this scene happen, so it's ambiguous as to whether or not Cathy's telling the truth. However, the accusation causes Corrine to have a full-on psychotic break, implying that there's at least a grain of truth to it.
Still a lot of questions there. Did Cory die en route to the hospital, as Corrine claimed, and she hid him in the attic where she knew his body would never be found? Or--and a lot of people seem to think this--did she never even bother with the hospital, simply abandoning her son in a locked, hidden room in the attic, essentially burying him alive?
Short version: we never find out what became of Cory's body, but there is a good 80% chance it was stowed in the attic of Foxworth Hall and ultimately consumed by fire when the house burned down.
case-of-the-keyhole-covers: This search hit particularly pleases me, because it means that someone is deliberately and purposefully Googling for something that I wrote. It's right here if anyone wants it. I hope you're not in marketing; I say some pretty mean things about you guys in that post.
Bart Winslow flowers in the attic: Bart is Corrine's virile strapping moustachio'd sex-bomb attorney of a second husband (represented here by Magnum PI* himself, Burt Reynolds). He will make his first real appearance later in the Petals recaps. I have feelings about Bart. They are not sexy feelings.
 | |
My feelings about Burt Reynolds are completely sexy. I am not ashamed of that. |
Recap of Part Three is 3/4ths done! I'm just having trouble finding some gifs that sufficiently express my trauma over the upcoming sex scene.
ETA, 2/5/2012: I edited the title to this entry, not due to any squeamishness about dropping the f-bomb in the title, but because, ironically, I was getting hits for weird and potentially illegal porn.
*Gehayi pointed out in comments that Tom Selleck played Magnum P.I. Apparently I got my moustaches mixed up.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
More Background Blogging
I'm trying a new tactic for Petals in the Wind. In the previous set of recaps, I tried to get three chapters into every recap. This was fine in theory, but the result seemed kind of inconsistent to me, just because the source material I was working with was kind of inconsistent with its pacing. With Andrews, you can have three chapters where shit goes down, or three chapters that all begin with "What with one thing and another, a year passed." Petals on the Wind is a pretty plot-heavy book compared to Flowers, and I think there are sections where I can get away with recapping only one or two chapters and still have a nice hefty post. Upshot is that while the recaps are likely to be shorter for Petals, there will probably be more of them.
In the works: rereading Petals, of course. Finished watching Pin: a Plastic Nightmare, the film version of Andrew Neiderman's Pin, which was surprisingly creepy and effective. Got about halfway through the film version of Flowers in the Attic, which was . . . er, not quite up to snuff with Pin. Skimmed Gods of Green Mountain, a book only notable for its stylistic differences from anything else Andrews published. Attempted breakdown of characters of color in Andrewsland; was slain immediately by migraine.
Meanwhile, it's finals week, and I have reports due on both Chaucer and Cormac McCarthy (she said in order to prove that sometimes she reads things that are not V.C. Andrews), so I am aiming for next Saturday to post the first section of Petals.
In the works: rereading Petals, of course. Finished watching Pin: a Plastic Nightmare, the film version of Andrew Neiderman's Pin, which was surprisingly creepy and effective. Got about halfway through the film version of Flowers in the Attic, which was . . . er, not quite up to snuff with Pin. Skimmed Gods of Green Mountain, a book only notable for its stylistic differences from anything else Andrews published. Attempted breakdown of characters of color in Andrewsland; was slain immediately by migraine.
Meanwhile, it's finals week, and I have reports due on both Chaucer and Cormac McCarthy (she said in order to prove that sometimes she reads things that are not V.C. Andrews), so I am aiming for next Saturday to post the first section of Petals.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Background Blogging
Quick note: I am relatively new to Blogger, and I'm still experimenting with posting formats and suchlike. I tend to work on individual sections of recaps all at once. In the current Blogger format, this means that an entry I post on Saturday will be dated for the Wednesday I began writing the post. I am trying to correct this problem.
The upshot for you guys: if a post vanishes, rest assured it will return within 24 hours--probably sooner. Yes, I know there's only five of you at the moment . . . but that doesn't mean I can't do you right!
New post Tuesday. Stay tuned.
The upshot for you guys: if a post vanishes, rest assured it will return within 24 hours--probably sooner. Yes, I know there's only five of you at the moment . . . but that doesn't mean I can't do you right!
New post Tuesday. Stay tuned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)